I listen to a lot of podcasts. One of my favorites is called “The Mom Room”. The host talks about motherhood, everyday life, and the like. But recently I have been hearing a lot about the division of labor and how the man gets to leave the house every day to go sit at a desk job for 8 hours a day. This really got me thinking. I used to work at desk for 10 hours a day, and that was mentally draining. Never mind what my husband has to deal with on a daily basis.
I am a Law Enforcement wife. My husband goes to work every day, talks to people who are less than thrilled to see him most of the time (on the streets of course, his coworkers love him), gets held over some nights, doesn’t get to see his daughter some days because he has to leave early for work. To top it all off, he is constantly walking on pins and needles because the things surrounding Law Enforcement nowadays is BONKERS.
But he does it all, so we can have the best life possible. With that, the host of this podcast goes on to talk about the division of labor within the household. Ever since my husband and I started living together, I have always been the one to handle majority of the household tasks. While he handles the tasks outside. Because if I am being honest, I very much dislike being out in the yard unless I’m relaxing.
I also am a very particular person and my husband can attest to this. When we met, I basically took his laundry from him and told him how to fold it. Ever since, the laundry has been my responsibility. Quite honestly, I prefer it this way because I know what gets folded how and where everything goes. But would it be nice if he did it every once in a while, of course.
While I handle majority of the household tasks, would it be nice to have a break from vacuuming every once in a while, or putting the dishes away? Yes it would. But the way I see it, being a stay at home mom is a job. It is my job to see to it that the house is in order and that the boxes are checked at the end of the day for the home (minus the man tasks I am completely clueless about). My job, as it stands as a stay at home, makes me feel good and fulfilled.
I guess what I am trying to convey is that succumbing to the gender norms, is completely fine. If that is what makes you happy and you feel fulfilled in doing the womanly tasks for the home, while your husband goes out and earns the money. Good for you! I take pride in having a clean home, being able to provide for my husband in such a way as making him a warm meal after his shift or making sure he has clean clothes.
Of course, you are a team when you are married. However, some think of that term differently. Meaning, I think of it as my job is within the home and taking care of the baby when he is at work. My husband goes out of the home and earns a living for his family, and when he is home. He handles his outside tasks and we take on our daughter as a team.
Some times I get in my head after listening to these kinds of episodes. Then I come back to reality to realize I am completely happy with the way things are in my world. Do I wish my husband and I were millionaires so he never had to go to work again a day in his life? Absolutely. That is not even a question. But is a woman’s work in the home just as valuable as a man’s work outside of the home? Yes.
If you would like to discuss the invisible load of motherhood? That is a completely different topic for another post. Look out for it in the future!
Now for those that are lucky enough to work a 9 to 5 at a desk in an office somewhere. Like the people in the movies. And still be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle. Where do you find a job like that? Asking for my husband.
